Buchtitel – Captain Pie

Kapitel 1 – BURLESQUE

english

I WANT TO FINALLY
SHOW MYSELF AS GOOD LOOKING

I TAKE THE GLITTERPAINT
SMEAR IT ON AND AROUND ME

SHOW MY SEX
I WANT TO BE A CHILD
TO FUCK AND TO BE ALLOWED

I WANT TO BE CRAVED AFTER
TO PLEASE
TO TRY IT OUT
AND TO NOT BEHAVE MYSELF

ACCEPT
MY OWN MATCHLESSNESS

SHOW SHOW SHOW GIRL

MY INNER SIREN
FINALLY OUT REAL LOUD REAL HARD
I WANT TO PLAY

IN THE SPOTLIGHT BUT STILL A CHILD
GABERDINA PEPPERMINT
WITH ME A SOFTNESS

Kapitel 2

english

I WANT TO SHINE AND
PROJECT AND
HOLD FAST
MY TRADITION BUT I

FAIL
I FAIL AGAIN
FURTHER AND
FARTHER AND
OVER AGAIN

I HAVE TO LET GO.
WHAT CAN I
KEEP?

I WANT MY
OLD YES BACK AGAIN

Kapitel 3

english

(? TODAY ?)
I WANT TO CELEBRATE
MYSELF AND US. I WANT TO BECOME
EVER BETTER,
WANT TO LEARN, TO DIG OUT
OLD GOODNESS AND
LET IT BLOSSOM
IN NEWNESS.
TODAY I WANT TO
HOLD FAST THE WAY
I AM FED BY TENDERNESS.
THIS MOMENT. SHOW ME
IN MY EVENING FINERY,
IN A LOVE AND
A GLOW.

ACCEPT
MY OWN MATCHLESSNESS

SHOW SHOW SHOW GIRL

MY INNER SIREN
FINALLY OUT REAL LOUD REAL HARD
I WANT TO PLAY

IN THE SPOTLIGHT BUT STILL A CHILD
GABERDINA PEPPERMINT
WITH ME A SOFTNESS

Kapitel 4

english

AFFIRMATION

I WANT TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY SELF
INSTEAD OF CRIPPLING MY BELLY.

I WANT TO CONSIDER MY SELF PRECIOUS
PROTECT MY SELF
AND PROVIDE FOR MY SELF PEACE.

INSTEAD OF CRIPPLING MY BELLY
I GIVE TO MYSELF
A PLACE FREE OF DISORDER

Kapitel 5

english

ASKS THE FUTURE PORTRAIT:

WHAT ARE YOU, SO INTENSELY, THAT FOR 10

MINUTES YOU CAN HOLD IT STILL FOR ME?

Kapitel 6

english

G

I GUESS ILL BE G
WANT TO GO
ABDICATE
THROUGH THE BATHTUBDRAIN, PLEASE.

WEAK FOR FAR TOO LONG
DONT WANT TO GO IN THE SAUNA

I THINK I’LL TAKE A BATH,
SINK INTO THE BUBBLES OF SHAME
– GONE.

Kapitel 7

english

NAKED AND BLINDED BY THE GLARE
IN AN EMPTY LOT
IN THE CITY
ON THE HEATED DIRT,
I WANT TO THROW MY TOYS.

FORGET MYSELF WITHIN
A CIRCLING OF MY CENTER.
ARISE; SUN SHIMMERING

TILL THEN I PRACTICE IN THE SHADE.

Kapitel 8

english

MY WINGS ARE ENORMOUS
MY KEEL PARTLY CRACKED
BUT STILL, NOT ENOUGH FEATHERS
BARELY ANY WARMTH

TO CARRY ME.
STILL, I WANT TO FEEL
TO EMBRACE
TO WELCOME AND RECEIVE
TO SWING MYSELF
UPWARDS

Kapitel 9

english

IT’S ABOUT THE JOURNEY
NOT THE DESTINATION,
SO I CREEP ON
IN AND WE
MEET EACH OTHER

THE JOURNEY AND I.

ITS PAVEMENT
HAS PUDDLES
SHOWING MY REFLECTION

“WELCOME, YOU
GRACELESS STREETBIRTH
WELCOME TO YOUR HOME
IN THE EVERLEAVING.”

Kapitel 10

english

EFFECTIVELY
BARRICADED

YOUR BLOCKADE
I ACCEPT

VIS-A-VIS A COUNTERPART
WITH CLOSED GATES.
STOPSIGN

I WANT TO TRY
TO SURRENDER

ITS OK
YOU ARE ENOUGH
AN OPEN ENCOUNTER

Kapitel 11

Ich will Hoffnung
jeden Tag losrennen vor Sonnenaufgang
am Horizont aufgehen sehen

Ich will Routine
meine Basis, jeden Tag.

Ich will ankommen
mein Schiff fährt hoch beladen
Segel festgetackert auf Kurs
So weit meine Füße tragen

Kapitän Ich
dieser Transformation.

english

I want hope
to run off every day before daybreak
seeing it rise upon the horizon

I want order
My basis, each day.

I want to get there
my ship piled high
Sails set, locked on this heading
as far as my feet will last

captain I
of this transformation.

Kapitel 12

Kapitel 13 – Bühne

Brenn mich /
verbrenn mich /
ich will dich vermissen /
will runterfallen /
mich in die Grenzen lehnen /
aufbiegen /
und mich festsetzen lassen.
Spring mit mir /
Meine Schwäche will gesehen werden /
hoch, in die Leichtigkeit /
entwischen dem Verstand.

Buchcover Rückseite

Stempeldruck: Pie
Fotografie & Grafik
Rüdiger Schestag
Kraetkestr.25
10315 Berlin
mail@ruedigerschestag.de
www.ruedigerschestag.de
© 2024

Die Aufnahmen entstanden in Berlin mit Hilfe mehrerer
fotografischer Verfahren:
Digigrafien
Analoge Schwarz-Weiß Filme
Wetplate
Color Reversal Bilder